Last week I spent 3 days in BigWestCoastCity for a training program designed to orient new veterinarians. The training itself was fine - I learned quite a lot and got to meet a ton of people from all over the country. It was comforting in a way because I met one other person who is struggling with being the only doctor on duty all the time, however the vast majority of people were either never alone or almost never alone. I got to meet up with an old friend who lives in the city, eat excellent food, and even go to one of the local Crossfit boxes!
The very next morning I had to go to work. I was completely exhausted and before I could even get my things settled the practice manager was firing questions and notifications at me.
A. I am not awake before 9am most days anyway and never do well when expected to process a ton of information before that time
B. I need time to settle in before going 100 mph - even if it's 5 minutes to put my bags down!
It was probably pretty obvious how peeved I was because she pulled me aside later and asked me what was wrong and that I had seemed a lot more stressed/angry/upset lately. I laid it all out -
How ridiculously stressful it is for me to be the only doctor at a hospital with complicated cases and techs and front desk staff who want the doctor to make every single little decision for them,
that I was considering asking to transfer to a different hospital,
and that I simply was not ready to essentially be the chief of staff since I STILL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE A DOCTOR.
I told her that I was burning out and that the current state is not sustainable for me.
They made an offer to an acquaintance of mine to help in the hospital part time, and that person accepted. The practice manager said she would make sure to schedule that person in on my single doctor days to help me. That's great, but they need to go through their 2-3 months of training first.
So ... while I feel a tiny bit better (I first accidentally typed bitter ... Freudian slip?) that the stress is noticed and that they are trying to do something about it, I am still looking to change jobs after 6-12 months in this one.
I also made a deal with myself to speak up sooner if things bother me as opposed to taking and taking and taking it until I can't take it anymore. That's a tough one for me and always has been.
That's a good deal you made with yourself. I do the same thing (take it and take it until I'm ready to quit before I say anything) and it's counter-productive and stupid. I need to stop.
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