Hello from Aspen!

I'm currently taking a desperately-needed vacation in which I am riding my snowboard, eating and drinking well, and NOT WORKING!

Seriously, though, it's extremely important to take time away and remember who you are as a person outside of work. Snowboarding also has a zen-like quality for me because I have to concentrate on the next turn. That's it. No worries about work or money or anything except the next turn.

It also helps when you get time to hang out with old friends and to watch the X Games in person.

Next week when I get back I have a working interview at a fantastic hospital that I love. I want this job SO badly it's not even funny. Fingers crossed.

Part-time request

I emailed the interim practice manager asking if I could switch to part-time starting in March. I copied the region directors (medical and sales). The sales director emails back a one-liner "This needs to be discussed with me and the medical director. Please schedule a call to discuss." So I did.
My request got shot down, which isn't surprising. What WAS surprising is that the sales director immediately attacked me for having a "bad attitude."

Okay, I'll bite. If I do indeed have a bad attitude, maybe there's a REASON for that? Maybe there's a REASON why you can't keep a doctor in that hospital for more than a year?
Also, if I have such a bad attitude then how am I still making the hospital money AND maintaining the highest client satisfaction scores in the region despite having no other doctors, no practice manager, and only 1 part-time receptionist?

I've already drafted my resignation letter. Now I just need another (better) job to come along so that I can send it. I have another interview today - fingers crossed!

Married

The wedding was great - my hair and makeup turned out well, the flowers were beautiful, the food was excellent, and the company was awesome. I didn't get nervous until about 10 minutes before the ceremony - mainly because I was worried that I would trip and fall. Once I started walking up the aisle and saw D I relaxed. We also got to go skiing for a couple of days afterward, which was nice! Our official honeymoon starts in about a week - a well-earned ski vacation.

Work is more of the same. I've become more efficient at handling cases which is good. We still have no 2nd doctor or full-time practice manager which is bad. I've been interviewing at a few other places which is good. I have no other offers yet which could be bad. At any rate, D and I talked and worked the numbers, and at the very least we can afford for me to drop down to part-time. 3 days per week would hopefully a.) make me a little less fried and b.) give me more free time to look for a better job.

I started medication after visiting my GP and it seems to be helping somewhat - full effects aren't expected for another week or so. I also have an appointment pending with a therapist. I HATE that I had to ask for that extra help and that I couldn't soldier on as usual, but when it gets to the point that I don't want to eat, well ...

Help yourself

I'm going to my GP this afternoon. When I made the appointment several weeks ago I wanted a routine physical to make sure my heart was healthy, blood values were okay, and so on. I was worried that the amount of stress I was under, coupled with my Dad's family history of widespread cardiovascular disease, would make me a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen.

This past week I've realized that not only do I need that assessment, but that I've probably slid into clinical depression. I've had it in the past twice before (about 10 and 20 years ago, respectively) and recognize the signs in myself:
- The clearest sign is having to force myself to eat. I ordinarily have too much of an appetite!
- Other signs include frequent crying, feeling like everything is a herculean effort, and a weird hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. Check, check, and check.

I feel guilty because for crap's sake, I'm getting MARRIED on Saturday! I should be on top of the world! While I'm looking forward to it and happy (as much as I can be, anyway) about it, in the rest of my life I feel like I'm drowning. I am working very hard at finding a new job, which is the biggest issue, but can't do much about my sister bailing on the wedding and my grandpa being in hospice.

So I'll be asking my GP for a referral to a therapist and some SSRIs because try as I have for the past few months to keep myself afloat, I need a little extra help right now.

Flamed

I received my first piece of hate mail today.

It was a patient I saw 3 weeks ago - new client, new patient. Presenting complaint - intermittent gagging every few months. Talked extensively with the client about history, did my physical exam (which was unremarkable), then talked some more with the client about possible causes. Discussed x-rays to help with diagnosis. Recommended that if it happens again, since it wasn't reproducible in the exam room, that they try to get video of it as that can be helpful.

According to this letter I was extremely rude and unprofessional, the tech knew more than me, all I did was run my hands over the dog, and I also apparently cut off the client and said "I think we're done here." (I've never used that phrase in my entire life.) The letter was also apparently sent to the president of the company.

WTF?

Oh, and that particular office visit was FREE, by the way (pretty much all new clients/new pets are free for their first visit), so I'm not sure what this person stands to gain by complaining. I'm also not sure why it was written 3 weeks after the fact. Did they really spend this whole time stewing over imaginary things?

Ugh. I just have to remember that this is one out of hundreds of clients and thousands of patients I've dealt with.

Pull-ups

I got my first unassisted kipping pull-up today. Hopefully an unassisted strict pull-up won't be far behind!

Goals

I only have 2 goals for 2013:

1. Do one unassisted pull-up
2. Get a new (and better) job

Today was actually slow at work, which was a nice change of pace. I got a chance to catch up on back issues of JAVMA. The rest of the week looks pretty busy though. I have tomorrow off and then it's back at it Thursday/Friday/Saturday.

On tap for tomorrow:
- Take the truck in for routine maintenance (I made a 7 am appointment so that I wouldn't catch the mechanic running late, however this also means I have to get up earlier than I do on work days)
- Go to Crossfit. It will be interesting to see how crowded it gets over the next couple of weeks - and then how much the crowd dies down come February or March.
- Meet with the pet sitter to go through the cats' new care routines. We have someone come to the house, but now one of the cats needs subcutaneous (under the skin) fluids daily and they're all on different food. Sigh. At least the other one doesn't need insulin anymore.
- Have my final dress fitting and pick it up(!)
- Check into getting one of the TVs fixed

It's going to be busy. Happy New Year everyone!